I’ve been working hard this past week and I’m definitely ready for another vacation. Today I tackle the issue of our VoIP quality between offices. Just another day but looking forward to solving this problem.
I gotsta keep on moving…
Working hard every night and day
Published January 8, 2009 as it is , work Leave a CommentTags: work life
I was about to leave school today when a man approached me coming out behind a parked car. He took me off guard at first and I stopped and took a few steps back. He was dark skinned and short. He looked frail and sickly. “My name is Robbie”. I greeted him and tried to act nonchalant. I knew right away he was going to ask me for money. “Now, don’t be afraid of me. I want to tell you something. I am gay.” I took a half step towards my car but thought best to listen to him. He continued on talking. “I am very sick. I am bleeding out of my rectum. ” He turned to show me his pants. “I have AIDS and I am trying to get my medication.” He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and showed me a prescription. “I need to take these suppositories to keep my white blood cell count up.” I began to notice how afraid I was of touching him or getting near him. My body language probably spoke to him. “Don’t be afraid Human Being.” He kept calling me Human Being. I told him my name and said “how much do you need?” He showed me the prescription once more. “$36.75 and I just talked to my mother and my lover who are on their way back from HP, you know HP the computer company, and they told me to take your business card or take your name and number down and when they get back here they will bring you the money.” I didn’t know what to think of this situation. A part of me wanted to just leave and ignore this Human Being, but a greater part of me looked into his eyes and saw a deep look of despair and hopelessness. He began to unbuckle his pants to show me the towel that was soaking up the blood coming out of his rectum. I stopped him, “Here, let me see…” I pulled out my wallet, knowing well that I had over $60 dollars in it. I pulled out $6 and handed it to him. Something inside told me, ‘fuck that, give him forty’ and I did. He wanted to take down my number but I told him, “Just live your life happy. Love others. Do the same for someone else that I did for you.” He thanked me sincerely as we started to part, and he gave me a handshake that turned into a hug. WHen he hugged me, a bit of his saliva got on my neck because most of his teeth had rotted away. I instantly began to think about what he told me about AIDS and I started to worry, well-knowing that I couldn’t get AIDS from a bit of saliva on my neck. We went separate ways and I began thinking about the AIDS and the saliva on my neck. I then got sick and nauseous realizing how I was freaking out about nothing and shouldn’t think that its like an air-borne disease that I can contract by shaking his hand or by a hug. I was sick with myself a little bit, though knowing I had done a good deed yet still thinking of the saliva on my neck. I rubbed my hands and neck with hand sanitizer and began driving home.
I spoke to my brother immediately afterward. He is six years younger than me, and although young, he has a certain wisdom beyond his years. I told him this story, in its entirety and one the first things he said was a quote from a parable we both learned in catholic school. “When I was hungry, did you feed me? When I was thiirsty, did you give me something to drink?” or something along those lines. My actions could have been one of gullibility or compassion, and I would like to think that everything Robbie told me was true and that I helped a man tonight. I guess I will never really know.
Here at school. I’m a bit bored as it is review day and I’m just waiting to recieve critique on my artwork. I feel I’m doing pretty well in art school eventhough it has brought me numerous stress-filled late night panic attacks. I guess that’s just the way I am.
So. It’s been a long time. Take a look at the tangled web I’ve been attempting to sort out. Don’t worry it will get there.
I’m starting school in a week. I’m going to Art Institute of Hollywood for Web Design. I’m excited to say the least.
I have been working full time at TLD for exactly a year now. It seems like it’s been longer than that. Sigh.
Balance by Paul Lumsdaine
contrast.
Spring comes, along with much hope for the future. Not that the past has been bleak. Life has been very good to me as of late. I am designing, writing, playing music and loving life. This is a view from my sister’s backyard. I think it captures how I am feeling. Everything is a vibrant hue, and the light of knowledge is creating shadows on the foreground of my possibilities. I can almost touch those rays streaming towards me, dive into their warmth of comfort.
Iambic Magic
by Paul Lumsdaine
You first find out just what you need
And then you write with utmost speed.
The flick and flit of your swift pen
will make this sweet magic happen
Make sure to cast your thoughts quite well
so you might speak your final spell
This alchemy is hard to see
with lack of skill for melody.
If untrained ears can not quite hear–
this magic will not reappear.
But hold stead fast to these few words
hold on real tight to what you’ve heard.
Because this type of flowing verse
will be with you until the hearse.
So now before I go to the hearse
I will recite this flowing verse
to which you thought you might have heard
eavesdropping over my few words
that startle you when they reappear.
I amaze myself when I first hear
a sweet and skillful melody
that flows in me so I can see
the whole world entranced in a spell.
A flow of words dipped from the well
of not knowing what will soon happen
when I set down the tip of my pen.
And so I write with utmost speed
cause I find out just what I need.
Sweet smell of beef and sweat,
strapped in your camo-elegance with
sand paper shoe soles.
Sorry. You won’t be going home as
soon as they told you. But I
Saw you on the news last night, with
sad faces of Shi’ite corpses
strewn in your path. There were
soldiers laughing at the rotten
smell of foreign flesh
still lingering in the air.
Sirens screamed till you were dead
silent. You can’t feel
sorry for those you have
slain because you have
surrendered reason for the
swift judgment of the sword.
Mid-morning leaves soak up the remaining dew,
as a bird flies down and picks a twig or two.
Theres a ground worm shuffling through the silt
who does not know a new nest is being built.
A dog is right there at this time,
digging his way to any place he can find,
barking so loud when he sees the bird,
A voice comes from inside,
forcing the dog to be still,
urging the bird to hide,
while the worm enjoys the till.
The voice rolls down the road
and is ready to take a spill.
The voice is forgetting what it was told
as it crashes into a bed of daffodils.
The daffys dance with the breeze
and easily attract a little bee
who takes the flower by surprise
by slowly opening up the pistil wide.
A snail slowly slimes its way beside
the stalk where the bee sits on top
and theres no word but just a vibe
that makes everything suddenly stop.
Inside the house, the voice feels it too,
and is taken over by the commotion.
As if all creatures played in perfect tune
and a steady rhythm kept it in motion.
