it was a bad day

yesterday was a bad day. tiffany’s grandfather died, chase’s friend died, and it seemed that everything was crashing around us. i was driving away from the studio at 1 am, trying to escape the day before. But it was like running away from the half lit moon, no matter how hard you try it was still there when you turned around. I stared over a speckled horizon of orange street lights and found the moon still staring at me and asking me why? I had no real answers, and scratched my head feverishly but nothing came out. I was looking for some prophetic saying, an old adage that could soothe my soul and provide me with even a second of solace. The only saying that came to my head was “It is as it is”. That does not help much, nor can it console the grief that those close to me are feeling, but for a brief moment it gave me comfort. A good friend told me to not be comofortable, but I cant help but search for something warm to grasp onto when the tiffany is sad. Our lives are so deeply intertwined and I do not know how to tell her how deeply I understand her situation. I can feel her pain as if it were my own. I know that she is strong (far stonger than me) and she will help her family get through this hard time.

I don’t know what it was about the moon last night that scared me. I could not ask for a better existence than the one I have. Yet, I always find myself running from the beautiful life I have as if there is a better one waiting ahead. Its hard to be comfortable, and my dear friend was pointing that out. But I have to find comfort in the half lit moon knowing that as far as I try to run, something beautiful, my life, is there when I turn around. And even after it sets into the murky depths of a smog filled horizon, it is the memory of it that will give me peace of mind.


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